After four days spent as a civillian I'm really drearing the next few hours I don't really wanna go back to camp.Been running like crazy for the past few weeks and it's pretty much reaching the end of my tether.Forcing myself to run despite suffering from respiratory tract infection just makes things worse.My lungs are hurting pretty badly during normal breathing but just endured through the entire speed training and trying to outdo the commanders.Haiz the dire consequences of an overdose of pride.

Its been running and running from day to day.I can't extend my MC or it'll dent my OCS chances.So just have to put up with the horrible 25 min runs which I think is about 6+ k every other day.Training has just gotten more intense,and hopefully I'll make it through where others will fall and get weeded out in the race for OCS.

Hope I can rid myself of the terrible dreams I've been getting each night.maybe it's sign that I'm ready

12:31 AM
Confused

After 3 weeks of infamy, my rifle will be the most sought after in the upcoming field camp.Hope it doesn't get stolen or I'll be really stuck with guard duties...

11:50 PM
Confused

my last few hours before enlisting tomorrow.as much as i want to leave behind all my problems, its getting really impossible. i'm not sure what would happen in the next few months and i just wanna get something off my chest before going into this exile. army does not worry me a single bit but because of you, i am afraid.

i feel like a shade, being able to see you but you're just oblivious to my presence.what must i ever do to change all these.leaving you with doubts lingering over whether i might ever see you again. hopefully time may erase all the pain caused by my ineptitude. just have to channel my attention to the pursuit of success.

For Honour And Glory...

5:01 AM
Confused

i can't take this crap anymore.

3:29 AM
Confused