Back from Genting and dead tired after 3 days of continuous shopping.Its like being pointed at with a gun and forced to do some reluctant window-shopping and watch some crappy movies like The Promise yet again.I'm not sure what happened but the tickets that were bought were of movies at some unearthly hour like 2am for starters.

An exile into a com-less and cable-less world was pretty unnerving to begin with.I lasted only 6 hours before starting my search for the nearest LAN shop there.Had no choice but to eat fast food for every meal there,and the service there really sucks big time.Instead of regaining my fitness I'm actually deviating further from it.

Finally met one of my best friends there.We've not been in contact for the past 6 years due to issues of pride.It's really remarkable that so much has changed within this peroid.Both of us are in a pretty bad state now.However,I hope that things will turn out fine for the both of us just like it had been in the past.By the way I've not changed too much anyway.Though dreams are tossed and turned along the way,I'm still confident that we'll make it through

6:57 AM
Confused

Called up CMPB today after much procrastination.Actually its really possible to defer NS for private candidate but i'll have to double my BMT time.So much for patriotism...Extended my passport too after promising to do so since last week.A one year extension really puts thoughts in my head...Like evading NS and the other devious schemes.

Wish I'm not that confused now.I'm really not sure regarding which step to take.Once glimmering paths are now fading away.If I can't even get the easy part done how am I going to take on the more difficult segment?Help me God(If you're really listening...and do point out the fine prints to me this time)

It's not the time for game over yet.

10:30 AM
Confused

Just thinking whether I should be getting a job now?
But with only 2 weeks left its making things more complicated.
Maybe I'll just put off this idea till later.
Many matters just cropped up and it's most frustrating to see the manner by which it is unfolding.
There are many things which I dislike but can't make myself refuse.
Well, well, I'll just stick to the plans and see what gives.
Although the prospects are pretty bleak.
So damn frustrated.
I want to scream but words never do leave my lips

6:32 AM
Confused

Holed up at home with insomnia is really horrible.
Just have to drink myself to sleep.
An inverted biological clock is what I'm facing now.
Actually being a wimp really sucks
I won't be like this if I had more guts then

9:48 AM
Confused

Darn army.There's really nothing to do now and I'm bored to death counting down to the day when I'm suppose to pay for my sins at Tekong.I'll have to give up so many things by then.Yes and being suckered into displaying some pretentious patriotism like its the norm.All this happening while others are allowed freedom to do whatever they want.

There's alot more sacrifices to be made than what meets the eye.Sometimes I wonder why not just declare that you're gay and evade NS.Actually considering current situations,I'd rather be enlisted early than be engulfed by this stupid checkmate issue that I'm facing.

It's still not my fault.

7:55 AM
Confused

When I replied so-so I didn't mean what I had said.

Sorry really does seem to be the hardest word.

11:55 PM
Confused

Prom day was pretty hectic for me.As usual runnning late for the reception.Reached the hotel in a pretty ruffled state before straightening up at the restroom.Fortunately everything came together much better than I had expected.The events just went by in a whirl.There are times when I just sat there thinking whether I should or should not approach somebody.Although she passed me by a few times but being the indecisive me I just couldn't get my butt off that couch.Maybe some words are better left unspoken.

After prom party was suppose to be enjoyable but there's no mood for anything other than drinking away the whole night.Waiting for her,maybe its better that she wasn't at the club judging from what was actually going on.Dismayed yet relieved...I'm really going crazy.

Then horrors of horrors appeared just when I was feeling rather tipsy.I just had to get away from the club never mind that I was having troubles navigating my way around.Just when I thought things couldn't suck any further.Drank more than I actually should with my gastric problem in full flow,though these times are better off being drunk than sober.

9:37 AM
Confused